all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize