The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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