see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
