what day is it and did you see me today?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
