Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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