Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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