id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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