We're facebook friends in real life
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
