"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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