haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You're breaking my sexual little heart
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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