with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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