This is not my ceiling
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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