Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
