Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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