i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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