There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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