Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
