He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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