we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
