i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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