what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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