Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize