that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
