doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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