Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize