The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
