Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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