so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
