I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
