Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
