if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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