We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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