I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I forget how to act sober
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
