Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
