I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
