thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
