So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
