Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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