So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
