At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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