Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize