There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
