dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
