we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
