He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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