her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
