I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
