I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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