my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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