He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
