I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
