AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
