I look better un-naked...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
