i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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