I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
