Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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